Mo Anam Cara, My Soul Friend

What is the definition of lifelong companion? Of love really? Do any of us really know what either is? We’re taught what it’s “supposed to” be. Boy meets girl. They “fall in love” have sex, have babies. Grow old together. Girl takes care of everything. Boy does wtf he wants. That’s not love. That’s supposed tos again.

What if we are meant to find a person? A person. Just another person. (No gender specified.) One we instantly know as “home”. One we share a deep connection with. Who would die for us? And we’d die for them. But what if we’re stuck in the constructs of the norms. The supposed to’s. Boy must meet girl. It’s never person meets person. What if this person is a friend? One you just want to be happy with. What the fuck is this?

There’s no label. There’s no definition. There’s no roadmap. It’s not romantic. It’s not sexual. It’s just that this person makes you feel whole. At home. And if they’re not whole, you want to make them feel whole. When they’re dark, you’re dark. When they feel, you feel.

But it’s not your place to make them whole. Because you’re not a spouse. You’re not their family. You’re not their lover. You’re not anything. But their friend. And sometimes friends take a back seat to all those others, who may not love you as much as your friend does.

But you know what. A friend is there because they want to be. They have no commitment in writing. They have no blood. They have no desires. But they do have love. Sometimes they have this love that they can’t put into words. But they feel it in their soul. Sometimes this love is overwhelming. And scary.

But they have to keep it to themselves. Because it’s weird in today’s society. What does it mean? This isn’t a “preference.” It’s not an attraction. It’s a connection. A connection with another human being so profound it can only be labeled as love. Willing to sacrifice anything. Except exposure. Or abandonment.

Some people are lucky to find it in someone who is accepted by society. Some of us, not so lucky.

Some people are lucky to have even found it at all. But it’s lonely & painful to keep it to yourself when it doesn’t make sense. It defies norms. Because you don’t want to be weird. Or rejected.

But you’re not weird. This is the way life should be. You should find another human who means everything to you. Their happiness is your happiness. Their despair is yours. You want to be two adults, two people acting as a team. Sharing the load of life. The road of life. Together. Sounds like a dream “marriage”. 🙄

But again, marriage is a label. A construct. A supposed to. What if you just want to see the world with your friend? Tackle life’s problems with your friend. The rest be damned. You & me against the world. Without being labeled as “something” or pigeon holed as such. Just two friends living life together. Growing old together. Supporting each other’s dreams. Making them happen. Being happy. As a team. Connected. Filled with love. Two souls who found peace. In each other.